A short while ago I thought it would be nice to share a weekly post about how the memoir writing was going.
I expected new focus from a course I’ve started and also perhaps writing exercises that would be interesting to share. Well.. It just isn’t turning out like that. Some aspects of the course are really valuable – the other writers and their writing, but unfortunately there’s been little instruction.
Community
However, merely mentioning the idea of Memoir Monday set a couple of other excellent bloggers off on a path of providing a few lessons! If you’re also grappling with a work-in-progress please do check out the discussions and back-catalogue of memoir writing posts by Jeanne Lombardo and Irene Waters.
This week Irene has been exploring the Experience of “I” in a memoir – what sets a context for the reader including language, culture, self-reflexivity, ownership etc whilst Jeanne explains in some detail how she tackled a manuscript re-write – as well as why it was a re-write and not simply a re-draft. I realise I’m somewhere in this zone. And it’s daunting.
Jeanne explains the use of two columns to divide up key elements in her manuscript:
one showing the positive events that had supported my client’s journey toward self realization, and one listing the negative events or moments that had blocked the attainment of his goals or wishes.
This works nicely for much of my material although perhaps not all so I’ve tinkered with it.
But first a bit about structure.
Structure
I’ve been aware that simply telling a chronological story doesn’t make for the best read.
I read Mary Karr’s “The Art of Memoir” after reading Sherri Matthews enticing review. In fact, I skipped to page 147 to read the chapter “On Book Structure and the Order of Information” which is a disappointing 29 lines of text. I then went off to read “The Liars Club” to see her in action. OMG – Amazing book. Now I get it.
As she quotes in “The Art of Memoir”
I start with a flash forward that shows what’s at stake emotionally for me over the course of the book, then tell the story in straightforward, linear time.
It’s a sitting on the coffin, telling the tale of a death – or rebirth..
This isn’t really the stuff of epiphanies when you think of the many good books you may have read and now I have identified a critical event part way through my story to open the book with, tell the story and also come back to at the end.
More importantly I realised I’ve been using the term structure, when actually some of my issues are “all the other stuff” that isn’t the basic story arc. What do I do with that?
Process
So using Jeanne’s idea of columns I can easily break down my story timeline into positive and negative events – the bones of my structure.
I’ve then added more columns to help with the process of completing this book. I realise now weaving in the other things I need and want to say – that don’t follow the story arc – are messing with my notion of structure. This may be A-B-C stuff to some of you and automatic to others but I was failing to see it. (A huge thank you to my resident man of numbers, Simon who is much better at seeing ‘patterns’ than me.)
(I will tag this post Chemobrain for any other cancer writers out there, because I feel like a muppet now. Some of this is so simple – once you can see it. I knew it was there but it has been like playing cards blind-folded.)
In working further to categorise the “other stuff” around writing a memoir – or writing mine anyway, I’ve come up with a few more columns to keep track of the shape.
This includes a column for ‘Reflections” after another discussion with Irene on what memoir is all about and after Simon asked me to tell him in one sentence, what outcome I wanted for the reader.
My gut reaction was
I want you to understand what this life is like.
That in turn led to another column currently titled “All the Other Stuff” – except it isn’t all the other stuff – it’s a few thoughts and scenes that convey some key parts of my life – like how surviving a terminal diagnosis has perhaps ‘informed’ my parenting and what associations are attached to events on the calendar etc. This is perhaps some of the good and bad consequences of the main story but they don’t necessarily have to fit into the timeline. And I can work that bit out later.
So I now have structure and process mixed up on a big piece of paper but it can now be used as a tool to help me hold the thing in my head.
Might not sound a lot but it’s feeling good! It feels like the big picture I’ve been after.
What about you? Do you have trouble seeing the big picture? What tips can you pass on that have helped you?
Lisa Reiter - Sharing the Story 
August 22, 2016 at 11:51 am
Interesting post and discussion, Lisa. The advantage of being last, so far! Is I can read all the comments in one go 😉
My tiny contribution is that as I read your post, I thought of my own challenge, which is the one any/all? writers face, of organising/sorting / presenting the information / action / in your manuscript. Although it’s a memoir, I’d still call it plotting, because that’s what you’re doing; finding the best/most effective way to tell your story. This will lead to a discussion of plot and story, which is basic to understand what and how we write.
Sarah recently wrote a post about her thoughts on plotting and structure which might also be useful.
I’m being a bit cheeky here, but I’d advise you to write and worry about structure later or as you go. I find the more I write and think about my novels the easier it is to plan later, even though some bits may need revising, rewriting or even deleting.
Good luck and let us know how it goes:)
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August 5, 2016 at 4:57 pm
I’m even later to the party than Norah, but I’m glad i read this today. I really enjoy hearing how you make sense of your experience through writing and try to help others make sense of same. And how you deal with chemobrain on top of all that. You’re a real inspiration to me, Lisa. I think you’re doing everything exactly as you should be. Carry on!
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June 23, 2016 at 11:35 am
Hi Lisa, I’m very late to the party. The notification has been sitting in my inbox since … well, you know when. I’m pleased I have come late and have benefited by all the wonderful discussion as well as the richness of your post. I have no writerly wisdom to add, but am pleased that you are finally seeing your memoir starting to come together and gel in a way that makes sense to you. I look forward to reading all that other stuff, particularly your reflection on how having a terminal illness affected your parenting.Being a parent and watching my kids grow into happy, healthy, independent and contributing adults is a privilege that not all receive. To have that threatened by illness that may force the abdication of responsibilities must be devastating. And even though your little one is now almost a man, the years were tarnished by the threat.
The discussion about Mary Karr’s book has prompted me to buy The Art of Memoir on audio, narrated by the author. The Liar’s Club is not available, but Lit and Cherry are. I’ll see how I go. If I have come across nothing more pressing I may try one of those in the future. Thank you for the recommendation. I’m sure I won’t be disappointed.
PS I hope you’ve been getting much writing done since posting this one!
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June 23, 2016 at 3:11 pm
Hi Norah
I’m just re-reading The Art of Memoir – I love it so much – I found I had to read Liar’s Club to understand some of what she was on about. I bet Lit or Cherry would do just as much. I may well read them soon! I tried Joan Dideon’s A year of Magical Thinking and she doesn’t reach me in half the way that Karr’s use of language does.
That aside, I’m writing more productively. I feel that I’ve warmed up my voice. I was going to say ‘found it’ but it was nearly there..!
My issue now seems to be having found a community of writers to work with week-by-week and face-to-face, I don’t have the motivation to blog for the support.
– And I’m half way through The Village Effect – research summary from Susan Pinker on the necessity of face-to-face interaction. – A funny coincidence but I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve outgrown social media or finally found what I was looking for elsewhere.
We’ll see! A busy summer usually occupies my spare time anyway so the Autumn will tell when school’s back and the house is quiet!
Thanks for stopping by. Lisa xx
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June 25, 2016 at 5:26 am
Hmm. Interesting Lisa. I’m particularly noticing your lack of motivation for blogging, the necessity of face-to-face interaction, the possibility of having outgrown social media, and the discovery of what you were looking for elsewhere. These all seem to combine into a sense of moving on from a field in search, to settling into something that works for you and supports your productivity. Life is growth. We are constantly learning. We have to sample many things, sometimes, to find where we belong. Sounds like you’ve found a good fit for you. That’s great. I’m happy for you; and happy to know that’s the reason we haven’t seen so much of you around. There’s no point in continuing something just for the sake of it. Let go and rejoice in the flight afforded by your new wings. I hope it’s all clear skies and smooth flying. Thank you for your friendship and support. I’ll always be here if you need me. Best wishes. xx
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July 26, 2016 at 1:06 pm
Hi Lisa, Just had to tell you that I listened to “The Art of Memoir” and thoroughly enjoyed it. I wrote down a list of titles that Karr recommended and have downloaded the first: “Speak Memory” by Vladimir Nabokov. I have listened to just the first five minutes but am already in awe of the beautiful language and thought processes. Thank you for the recommendation. Much appreciated. 🙂
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May 27, 2016 at 8:45 pm
I’ve come to this a bit late but it is very interesting. I’m sort of in Anne’s camp wondering how that works in fiction and seeing the possibilities. And I understand why, with a live being led it is trickier to implement. Thanks for making me think.
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May 28, 2016 at 8:16 am
My main aim in life! (To make people think..) Thank you Lxx
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May 25, 2016 at 4:10 pm
I have Mary Karr’s The Art of Memoir but haven’t read it through. Also, not writing a memoir. But I saw it on Sherri’s blog, too and had to get it. I think it will be useful for other types of writing as well. I have no tips but am glad you’re feeling good. 💖
You know, I truly love your one line: “I want you to understand what this life is like.” I think many writers feel that way. I do.
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May 28, 2016 at 8:13 am
Hi Sarah and thank you. I do think the structure of Mary Karr’s writing (probably not unique in itself but..) has suddenly unlocked something in me. I have toyed with an episodic structure so I can leave out all the boring bits and her fabulous demonstration of how to link unrelated scenes has solved a huge problem for me. Worth a read as it would work with any story that has ‘backstory’ etc Hope your writing is going well. I’m sorry I am a terrible blog visitor at the moment but you are always on my list ❤️
Busy typing..
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June 12, 2016 at 4:35 am
I love seeing you at Lemon Shark, Lisa. I do. It’s wonderful. But I love knowing that why I haven’t seen you is because you’re writing. 💖
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June 13, 2016 at 9:04 am
We’ve been so busy! Agh! All my blogging intentions out of the window. Only a little time for writing but it is going really well now. Thanks for popping by. I’d love a splash over in the waters with you but looking at a crazy summer! See you soon my friend 😘
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May 24, 2016 at 8:00 pm
Great post Lisa and thanks so much for linking my post here. Glad to hear you are experimenting with the high/low exercise. What really got me is your addition to it :
“That in turn led to another column currently titled ‘All the Other Stuff’ – except it isn’t all the other stuff – it’s a few thoughts and scenes that convey some key parts of my life – like how surviving a terminal diagnosis has perhaps ‘informed’ my parenting and what associations are attached to events on the calendar etc. This is perhaps some of the good and bad consequences of the main story but they don’t necessarily have to fit into the timeline. And I can work that bit out later.”
I just read a piece in Writers Digest Magazine this morning that might apply here. It was about fitting backstory into the main narrative. It seems that those issues you mention above can be worked in the same way, as moments of reflection when you are undergoing some experience; or as a moment when you must consider these issues when making a hard decision. “The key is to use the present to trigger a memory” (or in this case a reflection or association as with the events on the calendar). The author also discusses a scene following a dramatic event; referred to as “the sequel.” This scene serves to 1) convey the emotional impact of what just happened; 2) explore the logic and meaning {maybe the implications} of those actions and events; and 3) provide an opportunity to plan for what comes next.
In rewriting my client’s book, I am constantly looking for places to insert these important flashes that pertain to the emotional stakes of a situation in the present or provide reasons for an action in the present or convey a feeling that cannot be spoken….
However you fit it all in (and I must go read Irene’s blog on this topic) your gut conclusion is spot on: As a reader, I want to know what experiences are like when I have not experienced them myself…of course…..I would like to be in your skin and gain the insight to an experience I have not had but that is so human, so universal….
Thanks Lisa….
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May 24, 2016 at 9:20 pm
Ooo! Thank you again Jeanne! I have noticed that Mary Karr does that linking brilliantly in Liar’s Club. She manages to switch between place and time linking with seemingly irrelevant elements of each setting like fishing or music. There’s plenty of repetition in my life and it’s themes so I can have fun working out some associations. In fact associations and triggers are part of the story as for example, one birthday will remind me of another and I think I can see that as a useful way of time travelling 😀
..off to explore Didion now 🙂
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May 24, 2016 at 9:26 am
I found this post really interesting, Lisa, as much of it applies to some types of fiction. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about not having known the things that now seem obvious – I think that progression from bafflement to apparent common sense is a sign of genuine learning.
I followed up your links to Irene’s and Jeanne’s posts – regarding the latter you might also want to consult Charli’s posts on the hero’s journey (I’m sure she’ll point you to them if you can’t find them on her blog). It might feel uncomfortable thinking of yourself as a hero but it might nevertheless fit what you’re trying to do. Extremely belatedly (i.e. when Charli pointed it out in relation to one of my recent reviews) I see that my novel, Sugar and Snails, fits this too – and boy did I struggle with structure on that one. But the ups and downs of positives and negatives (and spreading them out carefully across the story) towards a partial resolution (which would definitely apply to your memoir as a story that has come to a better place but of course what happens after the last page is uncertain) certainly applies.
Another parallel with my novel is starting midway through the story and then moving both backwards and forwards. You might want to beware of making your quote as gruesome as mine is as, while the drama has drawn some people in, others have been put off by the blood! I wonder if the visit to the zoo which you posted recently would be a good starting point for you? It’s poignant without being overwhelming.
I agree about trying to encapsulating a single sentence what it is you’re trying to achieve. But, as I’m sure you’re aware, there are other questions behind your “gut reaction”. WHO do you want to understand it? WHAT is it about this life that you want to communicate?
Also, what you’ve described in that sentence is focused on your own hopes and expectations as the writer – quite appropriately as this is what will drive you to keep on writing. But at some point you might want to consider what you report your reader will get from it, i.e. why will they want to read your book? You’ve mentioned before wanting to inspire other cancer sufferers but I wonder whether or not you want to go beyond that? If so, you’re in less clear territory as there’s no way of knowing what experiences and assumptions they will be bringing to the reading.
Excuse the hectoring tone of this comment – it’s just really a splurge of the thoughts that your interesting post has evoked.
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May 24, 2016 at 6:04 pm
Thanks Anne, I think it comes back to that discussion we’ve had in the past about the generic information being peddled by others and having a mistrust of it being worth while investing in – probably proved by an accountant helping me rather than an ‘expert’ writer!
Yes, I remember Charli’s Hero’s journey. Lots of useful stuff and I even got the Mary Carroll Moore book but forgive me for thinking so, but it seems simple to apply to something you’re making up because you can make your story follow some rules but my story is what it is and it needs reflective elements that I’m hoping to weave through rather than splurge as an epilogue.
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May 24, 2016 at 5:04 am
Hi Lisa! Enjoyed this post.
Funny coincidence…. I am just reading Mary Karr’s “The Art of Memoir” and loving it (I am about half way through). I also just ordered her book “Liar’s Club” which I should receive this week. Now that I read your post I am anxious to read it too!
I have had an idea for a memoir for several years but I too have struggled with the structure of the story. Reading your post tonight has encouraged me. I expect after reading more of Mary Karr I too will have an a-ha moment re: structure. I’ve got my fingers crossed. 😉
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May 24, 2016 at 8:38 am
Hi Sue! Thank you – I enjoyed “Liar’s Club” so much I thought of getting “Cherry” and “Lit” to read next but am also trying to read more widely to inform my writing, so I am just about to start Joan Didion’s “A Year of Magical Thinking” which is about family, illness, loss and I hope recovery!
I bet you have a great memoir in you. I love your writing! I’m hoping the few of us there are can continue a detailed conversation to discuss the various issues.
I can really recommend Scrivener to help with organising the writing of a book, as you can reorganise all the elements very easily at a later date. The process of constructing a book though – beyond the main story – has eluded my poor brain until recently. Jeanne Lombardo writes some very useful detail on what she has done. I’m going back to read other posts now!
Looking forward to hearing what you think of “Liar’s Club” xx
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May 24, 2016 at 8:04 pm
Didion’s book is devastating and amazing. I look forward to seeing your reaction to it. The way she weaves the story of her life with her husband into the present narrative of his death and the aftermath is brilliant.
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May 24, 2016 at 8:57 pm
Sounds amazing! Early night with the book for me then!
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May 23, 2016 at 11:08 pm
Thanks for sharing this, Lisa. The heartfelt honesty shines through, and I assume you’ll use the same level of transparency in your reworked memoir, so look forward to reading it.
One thing I can pass on that you may find useful: my writing group has recently adopted ‘Scrivener’ authoring software. The basic design of the software is around the needs of writers, especially where there are a number of design considerations and/or resources that need to be accessed in the course of writing. It seems to me that this would be a boon to you and your friend that runs different columns to divide up the material for prioritisation and ordering. Scrivener is used by a lot of professionals. There is a bit of a learning curve associated with it, but once you get into the flow, you wonder how you managed without it. Much better than word or the Mac equivalent. I won’t send a link because that will probably be against some rule, but if you search for ‘literature and latte’ you can trial it under a time limited download.
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May 24, 2016 at 8:13 am
Thank you Oliver and here I was thinking I’d managed to ‘hold back’! Actually, I can’t see the point in memoir (or even this sort of writing) that isn’t frank and honest and as you’ll know first hand my friend, I’m a heart-on-the-sleeve sort of person anyway. My search for the meaning of life is all about authentic relationships and bold conversations.
I do use Scrivener and I love it. It helps my scattered thoughts assemble in a linear fashion with the full freedom to move them around that binder. I’m planning on doing some of Gwen Fernandez on-line training in case there are ideas I haven’t worked out for managing my writing process but in the meantime, I’m exploring Scapple (also produced by Literature & Latte) as a means of capturing what I have now on a few pieces of A3!
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May 24, 2016 at 9:52 am
Sorry Lisa, I don’t want to be telling you how to suck eggs and I now remember discussing Scrivener with you on an earlier occasion. To be at all helpful, it’s a question of trying to spot the unknown unknowns, as GWB used to say…
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May 23, 2016 at 9:46 pm
Cool post! Lots of useful stuff jam packed in 🙂
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May 24, 2016 at 8:15 am
Thank you Lucy. Good to know when my output is becoming so infrequent!
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May 23, 2016 at 9:39 pm
i have trouble seeing the small picture. Leading the reader along that path through the elements that unveil. Whenever I start writing I get a flurry of ideas. I wish I had time to sort them out like this. I think any way that you attempt get them out, down on paper, somewhere outside your mind to be able to then organize..make sense and is a perfectly wonderful idea. If I had the time I would wall my thoughts and string connections.
But I think, letting go of anything is the most difficult part of my writing. As soon as I burn a sentence I get endulged in a piece of work where it would fit. Now if I could just remember the way the words went.
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May 24, 2016 at 8:18 am
I am actually the same I think. My mind flits from one interesting thing to the next, some thoughts get captured on paper and then often become lost. After a couple of years discovering the frustration of that, I’m beginning to accept some sort of planning and organisation will eventually waste less time! Have you read about how I use Scrivener to capture all these little nuggets?
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May 24, 2016 at 3:27 pm
I tried to put a like on it but kept screwing up.. so 🖒
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May 24, 2016 at 3:29 pm
Now if i can figure out how to sync my phone memos… which hav replaced napkins tp torn envelopes or even the insert foils on cigarette packs
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May 24, 2016 at 5:54 pm
Ah, yes been there (except the cigarette foils!)
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May 24, 2016 at 6:10 pm
Foibles more like😊 thanks for the tip. Im already using the software
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