I’ve been aware of steadily building to a ‘writing crisis’ for over a year now. It reached a horrible crescendo over the New Year and I was close to building a great big bonfire and walking away from 80,00 words which seem to have a gravity all of their own, dragging me back to misery even when I don’t open the document to work on it. It’s always there.
The biggest part of the problem has been deciding what my book is about: It’s about cancer but that’s only initially. It’s about survival but where does that start and where does it end? What is survival anyway?
And I think I’ve been waiting for the glorious joy of a life without any struggles, irritations, questions, doubt, fear – the Disney Castle and the ‘happily ever after’. Others would say – Get real. That doesn’t happen. Well, duh of course it doesn’t – to you – BUT I’m different. I want more!
Anyway, over the Christmas break – after a dragon moment – which will be defined some other time but think breathing fire and you’ll get there, Max offered up that kind of advice a parent recognises as their own words being played back to them. The insightful slap in the face paradox.
For every barrier I threw up – the ‘Oh, I’ve tried that’ or ‘what you don’t understand is..’ He just threw something else back.
This was in the context of telling me about an ex-convict, a murderer, who had been a speaker at his school. This chap had gone into prison with an impoverished background, having made the ultimate mistake in a brawl but come out with an English degree and become a writer and speaker.
“If he can do it, you can.” was Max’s view. “You just need to decide what’s going to move you from where you’re at, at the moment.” And he started throwing the ideas at me that I would throw at him:
- Act as if you are a writer – write anything. Do more on your blog. Write another, easier, shorter memoir. Write newspaper articles.
- Get together with other memoir writers.
- Find a course.
And because you just have to set a good example to a 17 year old who can come up with all of that, I have.
Act as if you’re a writer
- I’ve quietly gathered (out of the Ikea bags) materials I could write a short memoir on being parent to a dyslexic.
- A friend happened to hate writing so I have ghosted some website forum discussion pieces for a client of hers. She may want me to write some blog posts in the future.
- On my own blog, I have already published 4 x the number of posts I managed all last year – Ok! Ok! That was largely due to nightmare back issues – but I have a quiet commitment to publish something every week.
Get together with other memoir writers
- I’ve ditched the local fiction writing group – wrong emphasis and frankly not very rewarding. I have way more fun at the Carrot Ranch.
I couldn’t find a local non-fiction writing group (not even within 100 miles). - Non-fiction does seem to be a solitary thing – so I’m slowly going to try and change that. It’s not coming to me so I’m coming to find you! I’ve started with a call for authentic memoir reviews to be shared on Twitter so I’m not reliant on Amazon best sellers.
- I’m also trying to focus my blog interaction time a little more around the few chatty memoirists I know – Irene, Sherri, Jeanne. I’m prodding some I’ve lost touch with and they’re looking friendly – Sherrey & Maureen – hello.
- Finally, all wrapped up in number 3, I am actually going to meet up with others face to face.
Find a course.
- Talk about serendipity! I’d googled to no avail – I didn’t want one of those lazy ‘life writing’ courses that are for beginners and too general for my needs. And then a friend sent me a prospectus for CityLit in London so we could choose a photography day to do together and by chance I stumbled upon “Advanced Autobiographical Writing” – It required a work-in-progress and covers all sorts of issues and problems. Having been accepted onto that, I suddenly realised I knew someone else it might really help and contacted her. Sherri Matthews is joining me and I cannot wait to meet face to face!
Sharing the Story
We have both decided that sharing our progress on our blogs will only add to our commitment. And it may be that I will want to pick your brains about specific issues and or passages of writing as I go. This has to work.
The course runs on Tuesdays for 11 weeks starting in 2 weeks time. I plan to share a catchup on my progress at the end of each writing week – which will fall on a Monday. Memoir Monday. I hope you can stop by and cheer us on. We need all the help we can get!
April 16, 2016 at 2:47 pm
Thanks for all the wonderful information and I hope the course is all you hope for. Looking forward to hearing about it for you or Sherri. Maybe both. 🙂 Think I’ll head over to the Carrot Ranch now. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 16, 2016 at 3:13 pm
Heavens! You beat me to it – I’m chasing you around the place! And now I’m following over to Carrot Ranch because I’m behind on my hosting tasks!! 🐎
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 15, 2016 at 5:11 pm
Ta daaah! Delighted Sherri Matthews is joining me on Tuesdays at CityLit. Looking forward to Sharing the Story 😀
LikeLike
April 15, 2016 at 1:07 pm
All the best with this. I started my writing as a poet… and it only took me close to twenty or thirty years to call myself one. A poet that is. I have no local group. But I’ve got Carrot Ranch and Irene… wow! They and other prompt sites have helped me to explore my other writing. I’m really not that organized. I have three blogs (well more) to prove that. I’ve got the daily short verse, long verse and the fiction which now also holds some non-fiction BoTS (Based on a True Story) or memoir type stuff.
I thought once my own ‘birdies’ had flown the coop I’d have more time for me. Well now the grandchildren have taken up the vacated space and time. And really I don’t mind volunteering for that – encouraging their learning.
So my own aspirations might be on hold for a tad longer. I’ll live. I’ve only been writing for say over 45 years. So maybe next week an agent will contact me… and pigs will fly. 😉
So glad to have met so many wonderful bloggers. Now if we can just come up with another name besides ‘Blog’ which rhymes with slog… and bog, and smog… May you continue to be a light as you help others out of their comfort zones. And I might add you’ve got a smart 17 year old. My children, well they are older. And I’ve always said they were smart where they sat (smart A**’es).
Cyber hugs!!! Jules
LikeLike
April 14, 2016 at 8:51 pm
All good things here! (Except the dreaded reality slap from your kids. Those can be brutal…) Cheering you on. 💖 And don’t forget, when seeking out fellow writers, to look for essayists and those who write creative nonfiction.
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 15, 2016 at 9:53 am
Thanks Sarah – do tip me off on any essayists etc you might think I should take a peek at – I’ve tried the bigger creative non-fiction blogs but the interaction is so generic, its meaningless to me.
See you around xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 15, 2016 at 3:03 pm
I know what you mean about the comments and interaction being generic. I’ve seen that quite a bit. But I will let you know if I see something. 💖
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 14, 2016 at 12:30 pm
Wow! Great to hear you so positive, having made so many decisions to get you back on track. Thank you, Max! It is wonderful to see, and benefit from, the fruits of your parental labour! You just needed your own good advice. I think the steps you are taking are great. It is important to focus on your own goals and the steps that are required to help you achieve them. What I love about them (and you) is that they are not simply for your benefit, You are hoping to help others in their journeys also. Which is a big part of the focus of your memoir as well. A generous nature at work. Good on you, Lisa; and thank you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 12, 2016 at 10:47 am
Great blog, Lisa. Just what I needed for inspiration. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 12, 2016 at 1:59 pm
Thanks Maureen. I thought you’d got all this stuff sorted!?
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 14, 2016 at 3:09 pm
I wish, Lisa! Having stuff sorted seems like a spiral journey. Uphill. Just when you feel you have worked it out, life changes and it all has to be rethought. Lovely to hear from you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 14, 2016 at 5:59 pm
I suppose we’ve finally learnt life’s lesson when we realise we’ll never learn it!
LikeLike
April 11, 2016 at 7:00 pm
This is your line in the sand Lisa, wonderful! Moving forward, one day at a time, so glad you didn’t light that bonfire 😉 ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 12, 2016 at 8:23 pm
Thanks Sherri. I like that image. And no going back.. Whatever happens things will move forward now 😅
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 13, 2016 at 3:18 pm
Yep…for sure 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 11, 2016 at 5:00 pm
Brilliant. i did a City lit on fiction a few years back and it was really helpful at that stage. I’d love to do more memoir – mostly around my parents – but, hey, one life at a time. And if you are here regularly and need a coffee fix you know who’s buying…
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 12, 2016 at 8:22 pm
I’m up and down just about every week but always seem to be dashing for a train – it is a pain having to book them in advance – there’s no spontaneity! I will try and pick a couple of dates when we could have a ‘spontaneous coffee’!
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 13, 2016 at 9:13 am
That’s marvellous
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 11, 2016 at 4:29 pm
Hurrah for you, Lisa, and look forward to hearing how this progresses.
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 12, 2016 at 8:20 pm
Yes thanks Anne. I’m hoping it’s like electricity through Frankenstein’s monster !
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 11, 2016 at 4:13 pm
Sounds great Lisa. So much better to do something than get caught in the headlights…………plus does this mean potential beers when you’re in the big city?!
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 12, 2016 at 8:19 pm
Mid week Susan! Might manage something 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 11, 2016 at 3:16 pm
I can relate to so many of your challenges. The course sounds great. Hope it’ll help to get back on track.
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 12, 2016 at 8:05 pm
Thanks Gulara. There’s no manual for some of this stuff!
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 11, 2016 at 2:44 pm
Sounds fab! If I was in London, I would join you…I want to turn my blog into something publishable (is that a word?) and need help, but from where? (is my procrastination cry)
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 12, 2016 at 7:55 pm
Well! The course is full otherwise I’d drag you down for it. I live in Yorkshire! Fortunately it’s being run in the middle of the day so it’s just about doable (and I’m desperate for company!)
Perhaps the autumn term?
Meanwhile, I suspect further developing an episodic style would enable you to use your blog posts. NO joke but Memoir for Dummies is a good place to start for just about everything. No waffle or flowery crap! Although probably the snobs would have something to say about it! Good to dip in and out of.
This piece is useful too “How to Structure Your Memoir”
LikeLiked by 1 person
April 11, 2016 at 2:14 pm
Wonderful, Lisa! I have taken several memoir courses at The Loft Literary Center, a Twin Cities writing institution. (Many of their courses, BTW, are now available online, and I’ve taken them with people all over the country, and overseas as well: https://www.loft.org/.) I have a running bibliography of memoir I have read over the years (and intend to read) from that began with courses; if I can figure out how to work that into this year’s contentment theme (maybe even if I can’t), I will publish a post in future with some annotations – that’s as close as I can get to reviews right now. But I really like how you’re trying to bring the online memoir writing community together. As far as I know, other than the #linkyourlife folks on Fridays, there just isn’t one.
LikeLiked by 2 people
April 12, 2016 at 7:32 pm
Thanks Paula. I can’t quite fathom why there isn’t more of a memoir community. I tried a couple of groups on LinkedIn and Facebook but they’re all Me! Me! Me! Or too general for meaningful dialogue. I wonder if there’s more insecurity and angst with what is very personal – making people more cagey about sharing?
As for reviews, don’t worry. Tell me the best you’ve ever read and I’ll try it! Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person