I’m on the crazy theme this week with my Bite Size Memoir. Changing my habits and routines and stuffing my calendar is working well for the writing, (though I’m feeling a bit bonkers at times.) I’m hardly prolific but I’m making more progress and learning to value that.
We saw “The Equalizer” at the cinema at the weekend and every one of us picked up on the phrase Denzel Washington’s character uses early on:
“Progress, not Perfection.”
– Already being bandied about on a daily basis; It’s a good mantra for recovering perfectionists!
So it was probably perfectionism driving a fear of failure which caused my procrastination back in the day when I should have been revising for my degree finals, but whatever happened, we all went a bit crazy under the stresses and strains of the weeks before and during exams.
In my Memoir draft this week, I’ve also been exploring times others probably thought me crazy for doing the things I did. The rejection from a few caused another kind of crazy as you might imagine. I was alone with my battle as it was.
For me, I haven’t had to squeeze my balloon animal psyche to eliminate cigarettes and whiskey, but I do, to eliminate the fears of not being good enough perfectionism instills in me. If I manage to “Feel the Fear and do it anyway” (Susan Jeffers) there’s always some crazy pops up as a consequence!
So back to the summer of 1987 and degree finals.. I want to remember and document this but admit you may not get it. Sometimes you have to be in the same land of crazy to understand..
Klingons on the Starboard Bow.
“It’s life Jim, but not as we know it.” Marcus pops his head round the door on his way to make another coffee and I’m still colouring in my revision timetable. Anything that seems like work rather than actual work. I would feel a lot worse if I didn’t sit at my desk.
“We come in peace; shoot to kill!” I reply
Exams next week and I’ve made some pretty, coloured summaries of key topics, though there’s not time to rehearse and learn everything properly. I’m paralysed by choice now – which topics to look at to maximise my overall degree classification?
We’re all in a similar vessel in our shared house and the stress levels are increasing, sanity decreasing, exchanges down to caricature utterances of a popular comedy song at the time.
“It’s worse than that — he’s dead, Jim!” shouts Gilly
I burst out laughing. At least I’m not alone.
In case you’re too young to remember or if for some strange reason(!) this didn’t make it internationally, here’s the full “Star Trekkin'” written by John O’Connor, Grahame Lister and Rory Kehoe. It’s a parody song of the original TV series of Star Trek, released in 1987 by The Firm.
I’d love to hear your bites on the prompt Crazy!
If you want to join in, please go to the new Bite Size Page to see how!
Deadline Monday 20th October.
“If your psyche is a balloon animal and you squeeze to eliminate the cigarettes and whiskey, the crazy has to go somewhere.” - Abigail Thomas in “Thinking About Memoir.”